Missing home. NOSTALGIA

I've been awake since 4:30 am. My brain has lost all notion of time. I haven't been able to keep a regular sleeping schedule. Of course I lay here in silence with a nostalgic yearning of hearing at least one fire truck or an extra loud car muffler.

For most people , hearing those things at 4 am would be a nuisance. To me it's a simple reminder of home. Even when there are no cars on the street at home , it still gives of an energy and it makes it's own noise. It's literally alive.

As I lay awake here at 5:30 am my body thinks its 8:30.


I miss feeding off the energy the streets radiate.
I miss home.

I have recently narrowed down my wardrobe colors to black and white.

I moved to California from New York about a year ago to pursue my Masters Degree. I had little time to adjust to all of the huge changes that were going on around me . Moving to California was traumatizing in all aspects; emotionally , financially, physically , aesthetically , interpersonally , and relationally. I had lost myself a bit during my move to Michigan , but moving to California evoked my sense of incompleteness.  I didn't know who I was anymore. I was so focused on the process of graduating , moving , being a girlfriend, how I was going to pay , and all of the other things that come along with moving across the country , that I stopped caring for myself. Not to say that appearance is everything , but it's most certainly is a form of expression for me.

So now that I'm starting to KIND of get the hang of things, I figured I'd start off simple. I feel like I am learning to walk again. Style in California is completely different. I can't just walk out of my house anymore and immediately be inspired by 5 different people's outfits within the first block. Here I had to do some soul searching. Alone in a brand new city , I was forced to confront who I really am.

I guess I'll tell you more about that as time passes. I feel like there is way too much background to give .. let's just move on to the pictures.

Ostrich feathers always stand out. They are simple and elegant , but bold enough to make a statement. I obviously couldn't wear this to work .... or could I ?! 

Although I was trying to run away from peplum for a while ( because everyone was wearing it and because someone I really really don't like for very very valid reasons wears it a lot ), but I FINALLY gave in and I'm in love. I have pear shaped body , making it pretty hard to find clothing that doesn't literally make me look like a pear ( or a square). I have a dress similar to this and the pleats work really well in accentuating not EXAGGERATING my curves. 

Cute , simple , and clean. You can wear this dress to work or for an errand day! Please don't underestimate the power of a white dress. 

I don't own a chanel bag and no I can't afford to be glam bam 24/7.

I can only admire from a distance what I hope one day will be my own.  I am fashions secret admirer, keeping my identity concealed until I gain enough courage to confront it.

In my opinion , you may not even be able to tell that I love fashion as much as I do by taking a glimpse at me. I've become a part of the scholarly world , selling my soul and future financial commitments to the government and the institution that will hopefully provide me with sufficient skills that will one day pay off ( literally). Until then , I humbly accept the position in this world as an admirer. I think this is how true love begins.

The idea is planted and the passion well cultivated. I've been cultivating this passion for years. Ever since I would sit in the salon chair and watch different people come and go from the Astor Place Salon. If you know anything about New York City in the 90's , Astor Place was and still is full of LIFE. It was a center for all things punk/gothic/pop .. you name it! People weren't afraid to be themselves . To screw up . To where a hot pink '12 inch mohawk. It was an awesome place to grow up going to. (I didn't literally grow up there but I went there everyday )

Anyways , I rather not keep writing because I personally hate reading blogs in general unless they are full of pictures. I started writing this blog so I can get a few things off my chest and in hopes of documenting my personal life journey through the medium that I think know best , style.

P.S. You probably won't find any pictures of my own outfits on this but I will most definitely be posting outfits from other places ! It's all about inspiration ;)